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It was a Thursday night and I was curled up on my couch in my post-work outfit – Jaws tee shirt and high bun – clutching a glass of cabernet while mindlessly skipping through instagram stories. Suddenly, my screen came alive with a closeup of a dark-haired, freckled, angular-faced woman pouring primer into her palm; slowly rubbing her hands together then patting her face. It was a Glossier ad and I was transfixed. I needed to know more about this glamorous, inspirational, goddess-like creature applying glop to her face. After a few seconds of IG sleuthing I discovered her handle – @katiejanehughes – and learned that she’s: a) a makeup artist, and b) that she’s fabulous.
Returning to Glossier’s feed, I re-watched the entire beauty routine, and this time, from start to finish. Again, I was taken by Hughes’ sharp, striking features, and by the sounds she made while applying product to her freckled face: the crisp clap of the primer and the soothing slapping and tapping of its application. I got lost in the mesmerizing sensory experience and found myself furiously swiping when the story reached its conclusion. So much beauty! So much dewiness! I had to “shop the collection.”
Within minutes, products were flying in and out of my shopping cart. I was high on Glossier fumes and making it rain like Cher from Clueless. Only one item? AS IF. I needed them all! Who knew which product was responsible for Hughes’ dewy glow. Was it the Primer or the Skin Tint or the Stretch Concealer or the Cloud Paint or the Wowder…? I had to buy them all! Call it materialism, call it a shopping addiction… but I’m calling it duped.
Glossier duped me.
They duped me with their glossy lids and high cheekbones and their millennial pink, minimalist vibe. I am now a proud member of the Cult of Dewy Goddesses. And you know what? I’m not even mad.
Watch my remake of the beauty video that duped me, and let me know if I’ve cast the glossy spell on you too! FYI, this is not an ad. I’m just a real girl who’s a real fan.